February 28, 2011
My oldest daughter, a high school English teacher, is considering furthering her education at McGill University in Montreal, Quebec. I had the opportunity over the weekend to converse with her about what course of study she wants to pursue and she told me that she is interested in how gender identity is influenced by educational curriculum, text books, and classroom management. She told me an interesting story which helped me understand a little better what she is getting in to. She recently gave her students a creative writing assignment that required them to express their feelings, among other things. She said that all of her girl students completed the assignment successfully but only one boy turned in the assignment. When she asked the boys why they had such a problem with the assignment, one brave lad responded that they were concerned about appearing gay. This surprised me in two ways. I had assumed that gay culture would be no big deal to kids in this day and age. Secondly, and more deeply, I was astonished that these boys felt so strongly that a particular kind of writing (expressing feelings) is associated with being gay.
Where does that come from? It has caused me to reflect on gender identity. I didn’t know the gender of my daughter before she was born (none of my children for that matter). I remember my first concern upon her birth was “Is she ok?”…the birth was induced and the labour was long and difficult and I was very anxious that daughter and mother would be healthy and safe at the end of it. My second thought was: boy or girl? I really had no preference but I did want to know.
Many of these students in my daughter’s English class will be mothers and fathers soon and I doubt if the gender question will carry the same meaning it did for me? Will they look at the newborn and think: Well, it appears to be a boy but what does that really mean? Is he gay? Will this initial confusion about gender identity influence how the child is raised.
My point is not to weigh in on the whole homosexual conversation that obsesses a significant part of our culture but to simply recognize that these young folks seem to have a more complicated world to navigate in than I did at their age. If a sophomore boy is unwilling to write about feelings for fear of being type-cast as gay what is he doing with his feelings? That concerns me on some level.
I like tea. Am I gay?!!
I feel for these kids and hope my daughter can make a contribution to helping them with their fears and confusion….through her current work as well as that which may lie ahead of her.
